lalalala. Guess who?

The future.

LIO - Laugh It Out

Cute isn't it? Yesterday, hmm wouldn't say it was productive, nor not productive. Neutral la. So met up with Cole and Xting at Interchange for lunch before going back school for Amaths. But that Xting ah, overslept. So me and Cole walked back and forth at the inter and chit chat lor. Miss her, even though the last time I met her was.... Thursday? hahaha! Then we went TM Kopitiam for lunch and it was a really slow lunch because we kept talking and talking and talking. First time trying the Malaysian Mini Hotpot, and hmm, it was okay lor. Not really worth it. Like $4.80 for the small wok of like a fishball, meatball, crabmeat, egg and noodles. Not worth right? Then we decided to get Laoban! First time having it, and I don't really like like it, but still not bad lor. Frankly, I don't really have my own opinion de lor. Wtheck, bleh.

Had to chiong eat finish because the bus came. Super full after that :/ The school made Pris angry :( Because she had tuition before that and we were supposed to meet her in school. But because we were late, so we told her to go up for lessons first. But end up there were no ways to go up at all. All the staircase were locked, and Pris was so upset because she ran all the way to school and end up she couldn't go for the lesson. Some more first part of lesson is always the most important part de right! So she left. Ashwin and Stephen tried to push the barrier up but it didn't work. Ludivine told me and Xting that she say people opening it just now, so me and Xting decided to act macho and push the barriers up. But neh, no difference. Then that Cole ar, super funny. She walk towards us like a boss and suddenly dropped her bag on the floor, one knee on the ground and dig inside her bag. Me and Xting started laughing and thought she was looking for some pin or what. Because you know in dramas, the people always use pins to unlock the locks one ma XD Then end up she took out her wallet and to find out that she don't have any coins. LOL. But also didn't work!! End up, Royston came to our rescue~! He helped us to unlocked the door and Xting needed to shit!! So she took lots of toilet paper and ran up to the 3rd level toilet. Cute sia her. Lesson was okay. Can understand what Mr Ng is teaching :)

Left at like 4.30 and we went over to Kmeng's house. Yeah la then lots of drama here and there. Get to play the playground again! hehe. Went TM and Cole bought Starbucks before we anyhow walk. Went Montique and Kmeng bought this flower rubber band for Xting. Super chio sia. Dinner at KFC since we really very long never eat KFC le. hmm let's see, oh that Xting and Kmeng ah, LOVE chili sauce, so everytime they will put the chili sauce on the paper plate for the chicken one. This time ar, Kmeng was about to put the plate on the table when Xting sneezed and hit until his hand and..... BAMP, THE PLATE OF CHILI LANDED ON THE FLOOR. Damn gross. 

Me and Kmeng tried the new burger, Cole ate Zinger and Xting ate Roaster. The new burger was okay, not bad, but too big!! And so sad, no more Meltz and Banditto Pocket already :'( BOOHOO. Kmeng helped Xting to pour chili on her burger, and Xting was commenting, "Eee like menses blood sia." Then this girl sitting beside us kept looking at Kmeng so I told him la. End up ar, he turned, looked at the girl and said, "Why, you also have ar?" And that made us burst into laughter. I mean we weren't prepared for that at all! But the girl so cute, scared of us! XD 

After dinner, I went to find dee, zheng and ya. After that, me and ya went Mac and study till 11.30pm before going home. Yeah! OMG, 22 MORE DAYS TO O'LEVELS :(

This reminds me of something. On Thursday, during Chinese self study, me pris and maine ponned class sia. Wlao I have never ever in my life left the school when there's still lesson sia. Okay, that's a lie. I always go home after lunch on Wednesdays, during Art free period. But this time the feeling was super super freaky. Pris ah, showed me her rebel side sia. HAHAHAHA!

I think I crossed the line of giving up like months ago? Be proud of me.

WHOA. LIKE COOL ONLY!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG THIS IS SO FUNNYYYYYYYYY! XD

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Okay enough of laughing, goodnight and sweet dreams love :)

xx

Take a little trip.

Didn't go school yesterday again. But this time was valid, had fever. Shouldn't have walked under the rain right? Oh well. I don't care anyways :P Though I was sick, I promised to meet up with my primary school bff, yunwei, and I did! We met at the bus stop near my house at around 12 and took mrt to Orchard. At first, it was quite awkward because we haven't meet up for like 3 years? But nevertheless, as time went by, we were like bffs again. We got lost at Orchard. LOL. Our plan was to go Far East Plaza for lunch but we didn't know how to get there and ended up anyhow walking around. Then I realised what I told Qi last week was totally wrong. "Singapore is too small." hahaha! But after walking for an hour plus, we finally reached far east plaza and had lunch! I had Tom Yam Fried Rice and yunwei got Tom Yam Soup Rice. Super full and the price is not bad. $5. After lunch, we jalan jalan and it was freaking cold. 

Then we went Ion and yay I finally bought the multi-colours pen from Smiggle! It was on sale, 5 for $5 so I bought 5! YAY ^^ Went to many different shopping malls and it was great time catching up. Miss yunwei so much! Our final destination was at Bugis Street, where we bought Fried Golden Mushrooms! YUMMY. Took bus 23 home. On the way home I fell asleep :P So ps! hehe. Had dinner at home then Cal msged me if I wanna have ice cream, he treat. So went to meet him and yeah told him my problems and I cried. I tried to control my tears but I couldn't hold it any longer and broke down in front of him. But he didn't freak out, surprisingly, he waited for me to cool down and gave me advice. Cal, I know you are reading this, I'm sorry for making you look like as though as you bullied me just now. But I really appreciate all your advice and yes, I will not forget that promise. I love you k. Honestly, I am very blessed. Even though I may not be blessed in my love life, I am really blessed in my social life. Just on Thursday, Junjie msg me when he saw my tweet. He told me to not fall sick and yeah he gave me advice too. Also, yesterday morning I wake up with Vin's msg, encouraging me, the girls GWS msg, and now, Nicholas is changing my negative thoughts and telling me really encouraging stuffs, and all this totally made my day. How sweet can they be? I have so many people out there that I can trust and rely on, I don't need someone who USED to promise that he will be there for me, but is never there for me when I really need him. I really love you guys k, you guys are AMAZING. :') 

SO, XI JIA STOP EMOING AND SMILE. GET OVER WHATEVER SHIT THAT IS AFFECTING YOUR MOOD. YOU DON'T NEED HIM IN YOUR LIFE. NO POINT BEING UPSET ALONE WHEN THAT PERSON IS HAPPILY ENJOYING LIFE. BE WHO YOU USED TO BE, CAREFREE AND FOREVER SMILEY!

I swear I really love my friends :')

That innocent smile. I'M COMING FOR YOU :)

I wanna laugh freely like how I used to. (Bottom right(

Those were the days. 

And I'm gonna let this happen again! :D

GOODNIGHT AND SWEET DREAMS :D

xx

Pictures match my words.

I wanna be carefree and travel around the world.

I need you.

Writing this at 9.36pm and it's raining heavily with the scary lightnings. 

Here I am, alone, cold and hungry at mac, waiting for the rain to stop. Not really alone because xiya is here too just that she's outside of mac, studying with Wan Shun. But i am still alone! 

 1 part of me is enjoying the rain, 1 part of me wants to walk home under the rain, while the other part of me is upset. I realised that life really changed. The person i could trust the most is gone. In the past, i never had to worry that I'll be stuck alone because i knew someone will always be here whenever I need him. But now, despite knowing that I'm all alone, and i really hate and scared if lightning, he chose to ignore me. This time, my heart is really shattered, i am really disappointed in him. All the promises he made to me, are all lies and full of bullshit. Why? Why did i fall so deep into his trap? 

Now I'm feeling like shit and he don't give a damn. Fuck all this shit okay. I just wanna wake up with no memories tomorrow. All i wish now, is to forget everything. Fml. Okay I'm gonna walk home now. Hopefully this walk can wash away all this shit. And I'm sorry for using vulgarities here.

Ketchup.

If you know me well, you will know that I am freaking lame. Ahahaha I know I know, I'm childish! XD Anyways, why is this post entitled Ketchup? Because I just came home from a branch date with my lovely swc. The weather was amazing. By the time I left home, the rain stopped, but the wind was cooling. Btw, I didn't go school today. Pris, Cole, Xueting and Kimmeng too. hahaha! As usual, I was the last to reach Toast Box. First time eating there and hmm I would say it's... Average. Don't really like it, nor dislike it. Had fun catching up with them. The last time we actually met up, all 5 of us, was like months ago. Gah miss them so much! 

After branch, we walked around T1 and was telling Pris like how normal cliques will be the girls doing the shopping while the guys will just tag along. But for us, it's the guys doing the shopping while the girls just tag along. HAHAHAHA kidding. Actually something I love about swc is that they are always there for me, and they are not sexist. No matter what it is, we do it together as a clique and not like how the girls do on their own and the guys do on their own. :) Went Diaso next. Me and Pris were literally shopping while the guys just anyhow walk and talk about exercising, LOL. Today Wes and Qi super gay with one another sia!! In the past, me and Pris were taller than them and are like the older sisters, taking care of them. Now... We are the shortest and the guys took care of us instead. haha finally grow up le them :) Went T1 the rooftop and talk. Love the playground there! But ass only 12 and below then can go play :(

Helped Dajie buy fried chicken before going home. Qi was telling me that after our exams, he's gonna organise this Running Man Couple Game. So the rules are that each couple have to buy 5 couple items within the budget given, and like how do I put it... Ah go watch Running Man Girls Generation. Quite fun actually :) Hahaha. Okay, going to study now le!!

I won't give up.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up 

Gah, love this song. Madly in love with it! 

The title tells all.

 I won't give up.

I remember how I used to tell Vin that I will never give up hope on loving, and waiting for x. I was so determined and it just felt as though as nothing can change my mind about it. But still, I gave up eventually. This is reality, and I know I can never escape away from it. 

Frankly, it's not easy to be committed, to have the faith, to never give up. Anyways, this is not what I'm going to talk about. I'm actually going to talk about.... O'LEVELS.

26 more days to O'levels!

Omg less than a month eh! Have been studying pretty hard recently. I'm not going to give up on my studies!

Sunday:

- Didn't feel that well because was having a terrible flu.

- Went AMK Library.

- Dajie treated me to Gongcha! ^^

- Went Ahma's house after that.

- But something amazing happened.

After dinner, Nathaley suddenly came up to me and asked me, "Xi Jia Jiejie, are you afraid for the operation?"

I was surprised that she actually will question me regarding on my operation, nevertheless, I answered, "Yeah, of course." and you know gave an awkward smile.

"Does the doctor have to cut your back?"

"Yeah, of course. Otherwise how they put the rods in?"

And just then, Beverley said, "Eh, stop it la. You are scaring her leh, Nat."

But I looked at Nat and I saw curiosity, worried-ness, fear and something that amazed me was Nat's answer to me.

"Don't worry okay? I will go visit you one. And I help you pay for your medical fees. Even though I don't have enough."

I looked at her and I was really really surprised.

This 12 years old girl, for once, surprised me with her thoughts. And the sweetest thing was.... She drew a picture for me. So touched :')

Monday:

- Lessons like usual.

- After school went Jack's Place with Pris.

Had a great time talking about our childhood. You'll never believe how naughty Pris used to be. Tsk :)

- Came back home and packed my study table.

- Bathed and had dinner.

- STUDY!

- Talked to my Primary school bff and I felt great because of some issues.

Tuesday:

- RAIN.

- Had morning 'pt' with xiya XD

Dropped my phone at the side of the bed, so we had to pull the bed out but it was so damn heavy. Ended up laughing like siao but still got my phone out. YAY! :)

- Before Maths, me Cole and Pris went to the new block toilet and on the way, me and pris were like trying to use our ponytails to whipped one another's face. Guess what?! We end up banging one another's head instead XD After that, while walking back to class, we got stopped by this butterfly. Damn epic, like how the butterfly is so small yet caused all 3 of us to be freaking out. LOL.

- After school went to have chicken rice with lovelies.

- My bag broke :'(

- Maths mock paper. Okay~

- Studied Amaths with Maine.

- Night study. Did Amaths again. 

- Brain cells died.

- Dinner (Ban Mian again!) with Xueting.

Had fun talking about our overseas trip at eoy! yay can't wait :) Hopefully parents will allow and hopefully my spine recover fast!

AND...

YAY CONGRATS TO MY GOD-BROTHER WHO GOT PROMOTED TO SGT!

LOL I THINK THIS IS FUNNY!

Motivation.

Keep yourself motivated. Regardless of how bad the situation is or how stressed out you are, you should always keep yourself motivated to continue to stay strong and be more optimistic. Don't always rely on other people or things to make you feel better or keep you motivated. The best motivator should really be yourself because you should know what you want and know what makes you happy.

Screw you.

What are we? I don't understand our relationship. Sometimes, we're friends. Sometimes, we're more than friends and sometimes, I'm just a stranger to you. One minute you're talking to me as if I'm special, next minute you're talking to me like I mean nothing to you. One day, you pay so much attention to me, the next day you almost completely ignore me. I just wish you would start making sense cause I'm confused. I don't know what you want.

That love.

The love, an impossible one, that I want is when he's my best friend and lover and confidante and body pillow. I want a love where our parents become best friends and have bets on when he'll ask me to marry him. We'll go camping on the beach, and sit alone at night under the stars that never seem to be visible in Singapore's sky. I want us to take cute couple pictures that bring envy to everyone's eyes because they'll not only be able to see our love, they'll feel it too. I want him to let me play video games with him and he does not have to worry about his k/d when he let me win. I want him to cook for me when I'm sick and let me know that I'll get better as long as he's here to care for me. I want him to surprise me with random bouquets of lowers, and when I complains that he sends too much, he'll give me handwritten cards/handmade things instead. I want him to feel safe in my arms, and fill a little bottle with my perfume so if he's away overseas, he can imagine me next to him. I want him to not need my number in his address book, because he had memorized it. But above all, I hope he'll tie my shoes for me everyday so that I will never fall for anyone else.

Naturally come love.

Be funny, but be real. It's attractive. I think someone who can make me laugh is cute. I like the way they aren't afraid to be themselves with me, I mean the way that they can make me laugh and smile until my cheeks hurt is amazing. After all, laughter is the best medicine for everything right? So just live life, make silly faces, laugh, smile, and let's enjoy each other's company. This definitely is a big plus in my book.

I think every relationship should be treated like a marriage. Don't commit if you're not serious. A relationship is also a promise to be more than just loyal and faithful, but also to always be there for each other through thick and thin. If you're unsure, stick to dating. But don't make a promise that you cannot keep. If you're not in it for the long run, why do it at all? Why put the other in danger because you're only thinking of the present. A relationship should never be selfish, but understanding. Marriage is just a relationship with a higher title, it should always be the same as a simple healthy relationship.

You know that playful relationships last longer than serious ones. You can mess around and actually have fun in the relationship. You can mess around around and have fun in the relationship. You become more than just boyfriend/girlfriend, you become best friends. It's nice to be lovey dovey with each other but sometimes it's too much and you get sick of it. That's how they end up breaking up because you lose feelings. Playful relationships end up lasting longer because you actually feel comfortable and you can be your fun side and they will still love you no matter what.

You know that one person you can tell anything to and do anything with? You can act like a total jerk to them and call them mean names and they won't get hurt. You say the randomest, most disturbing things to them and they won't mind. I just love it when I can be my crazy self when it comes to them, and they'll accept me. If I'm weird around you, that means I'm comfortable with you.

If I like you, I like you. It's just that simple. It doesn't take much for me to like you. If me and you click right away in the first convo, I'm going to get hooked to you. If you have a great sense of humor, I like that. If you can make me laugh or smile, I'm going to get attached to you. I'm not asking for much. I don't even care what race you are, if I like you, then I like you. No ifs not buts. Just believe me when I say I like you.

Pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in the pool. She'll scream and fight with you. But secretly, she loves it. Hold her hand while you talk. Hold her hand when you drive. Just hold her hand. Tell her she looks pretty. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her. Protect her. Tell her stupid jokes. Tickle her, even when she tells you to stop. When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Get her mad, then kiss her. Tease her and let her tease you back. Kiss her on the cheek. Kiss her on the forehead. Just kiss her. Let her wear your clothes. Go slow. Don't rush anything. When you fall in love with her, tell you.

But don't ever expect her to play her part if you have other girls auditioning for her role. Don't take her for granted. She likes you because of your personality, the way you make her feel, and how you can just make her laugh, smile, and what now, but don't be taking her for granted. If you're going to end up leaving her in the end, why not just leave now and make it easier on both you and her. It just makes the situation worse when she finds our you were taking her for granted and not telling her in the beginning. If you're going to use her, just stop and tell her what's going on.

Be content with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Yes, there are people who are greater than him/her. There are people who are more attractive, more intelligent, more caring, and more fortunate. That's life - full of temptations. But don't be deceived by those things. Because haven't you ever realise that there are people who are also greater than you? Yet, he/she chose you.

Don't force anything to happen. Let every piece fall into it's place as it should, on it's own. Don't try rushing anything, because if it's meant to be, it'll happen eventually. You might end up ruining something by rushing it or trying to force it to happen. Let things happen naturally, and you'll notice how much more happier you'll be when they happen unexpectedly.

In my opinion, if someone really wanted to be with you, they'd make an effort to do so. They wouldn't make you feel like you're competing with other people. They wouldn't make the relationship feel one sided. They wouldn't flirt with other people.They wouldn't change their personality towards you depending on who they're around. They'd simply make you feel as if you were theirs.

Let love come naturally ;)

Prom.

Should I go prom? :(

Crushed crush.

I hate having a crush on someone. You think about them a lot. Melt at their appearance. Wishing they can be yours but you know that that's out of the question because it seems like they're completely out of your league. And being jealous at whoever they're talking to, flirts with, or are interested on. It just kinda sucks, ya know?

Life partners.

Why the wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger: 

The Chinese give a beautiful explanation to this. The thumb represents your parents. The index finger represents your siblings. The middle finger represents yourself. The ring finger represents your life partner. The little finger/pinky represents your children. Hold your hands together like the picture. Join your middle fingers back-to-back, and the remaining fingers tip-to-tip. 

Now, try to separate your thumbs. They will separate because your parents are not destined to live with you forever. Rejoin your thumbs and separate your index fingers. They will separate because your siblings will have their own families and lead their own lives. Rejoin your index fingers and separate your little fingers/pinkies. They will separate because your children will grow up, get married, and settle down. Rejoin your little fingers/pinkies and try to separate your  ring finger. They will not be able to separate because your life partner is meant to be with you throughout your entire life, through thick and thin.

COOL RIGHT?

BUT.

To some people, marriage is like this:

You're screwed.

BUT.

Look at them, they're so cute together.

They really make me believe that love do exist :')

My first love... hmm neh, I'm the 3 other person ^^

THIS.IS.SO.DAMN.TRUE.

Aww, marriage is a happy and good thing.

Why people say it isn't a good thing because they married the wrong one.

UNDERSTAND YO? hehe ^^

Please come out.

Currently in the toilet, trying to force out the shit. LOL yes I know. I'm just bored so decided to blog hehee. I think there is something wrong with me leh. Like I always wanna shit when I'm in school and when I'm at home, NOTHING COMES OUT.

AHH BUT...

YAY THE SHIT IS OUT! ^^

#random. Feels like going for a movie now. Hmm see first la! Okay, back to study! Byebye.

xx

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Blessings.

I'm sorry for not updating everyday. I promise I will do it as long as I have the time to because I am only left with ONE MONTH to O'levels. Understand me yeah?

So a update on what happened recently.

Wednesday:

- Pris and Cole didn't come school :(

- Met Xueting and Kimmeng in canteen.

- Received a notification form on graduation ceremony. Oh man, 3 more weeks! :'(

- English, Mrs Chan still on MC. Did free writing because Shermaine and Kimmeng gave me inspiration.

- Recess, took 2 poloroid. One with Shermaine Xueting and Kimmeng. The other one with Mdm Rizah Shermaine and Xueting. Mr Ng was like telling us that almost everyone bought popcorn chicken from the mixed vegetable shop. LOL #random.

- Elective history, did test again.

- Chinese, self study in Old Library.

- Chit chat with Xueting Kimmeng and Shermaine about 50 Shades Of Grey. LOL!

- Lunched with Jerm at Pizza Hut.

- Went back school for Night Study.

- Did consultation for SS with Ms Farhana.

- Dinner with Xueting Kimmeng and Shawn.

- Daddy came to pick me up after that.

Thursday:

- Finally, all 4 are present! :D

- Met Cole Xueting and Kimmeng at traffic light.

- Had to ran to school because we were almost late :/ 

- Maths, okay lor. Just that wasn't in a really good mood because the weather was so warm!

- English, did paper.

- Recess, felt really happy because my precious 3 girls are all present :)

- Chem, Mr Bakar never fails to make us enjoy lessons :)

- Physics, didn't like the practical, which was on Electricity. But had a fun time with Rico Derek Pearcesley and Huiwen. LOL!

- Didn't have lunch.

- Chinese, self study.

- After school, we took poloroid again! (Thank you Terriyn! ^^)

- Pris had to go home. So me Cole and Xueting went Eighteen chefs for lunch. Very long never go there eat le!

- Kimmeng came later. Because Kimmeng and Xueting cannot eat the ice cream nor drink the ice lemon tea, me and cole had to finish it up for them. So we decided to play scissors-paper-stone. Whoever lose, drinks 1 mouth of Ice lemon tea. But later, we changed the game to Kimmeng VS Xueting. But if Kimmeng lose, Cole have to drink, if Xueting lose, I have to drink. So from 1 mouth to 1 mouth each from the cups, and when the drinks are finished, we moved on to 2 spoons of ice cream. LOL. It was quite epic like how Xueting will keep winning to Kimmeng keep winning and vice verse. All of us suffered after that. Because on the way back to school, we all had to ...... SHIT.

- Damn joke, we all ran to the toilet and xueting suey, by the time she took the toilet paper, there weren't any left XD

- When Xueting came out of the toilet, she looked like she just went through labor sia XD

- Then Mdm Rizah came and we started Chem!

- Pris and cole went home.

- Last week Mr Chia, this week Ms Teo. :/

- Me Xueting and Kimmeng went to find Ms Suhaila.

- While waiting for our turn, we just talk talk, study a bit. 

- After our consultation, we didn't want to go back, so we just sat there and then we started talking about some stuffs that made Jeremy laughed nonstop, which also caused xueting to blush XD

- One of my favourite night study session actually.

Friday:

- Didn't go school today.

- Today I'm gonna study Chem and Physics! YAY JIAYOU! :)

"If a guy likes you, he won't keep you guessing. He won't send you mixed signals. If a guy likes you, you'll know. There's a difference between when a guy is being nice because he's nice and when a guy is being nice because he likes you. So quit stressing over whether or not he likes you or not. Keep the conversations going. Text him first or wait for him to text you. It doesn't matter, so just talk to him. If a guy likes you, he'll find a way of showing you, so relax!"

"I've always wanted to be in a solid relationship - no on and off type of relationship. It doesn't matter if we're together as a "couple" or not, just something I can be for sure about with someone who feels the same way. A relationship that won't end about careless arguments and so on. I want to be able to be 150% sure about a relationship and be happy in it."