Fears

2 major news these days made me realised that I ought to feel guilty for complaining about school food, people, life, everything.

Gaza and MH17.

Honestly, I've got to admit sometimes technology do help improve our lives. For example, without technology, there wouldn't be Twitter and I most probably won't know about this.....

Firstly, Gaza. 

(http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jul/18/israel-us-caution-deaths-gaza-ground-fighting)

Just look at this 2 kids, they look like they're barely 3 years old and they're actually going through all this shit????? I definitely don't remember having such a horrible childhood. 

"In the wreckage of the home on Friday morning, Salem Antez, 29, Mohammad Salem (2 y/o)'s  father, approached the Guardian with a plastic bag, which he opened to reveal pieces of flesh he was collecting for burial. "This is my son," he said."

"Jonathan Miller - who is on the ground in Gaza - was told on Friday that the Israeli attack had "obliterated" el-Wafa rehabilitation hospital in the Gaza Strip."

"On Wednesday, strikes were reported across the Gaza strip, including one near the port in Gaza City that killed four children, all members of a popular local family of fishermen. The kids were named as Ahed Baker, 11, Muhammed Baker, 11, Zakaria Baker, 10, and Ismail Baker, 9."

"The boy's skin was burned and shredded, his leg was twisted the wrong way on the stretcher."

I really cannot believe this.

Kids who did no harm to anyone, they are still so young and innocent yet they are the ones who have to be targeted. What did they do to deserve such treatment?? 

Kids who just want to have a normal childhood, goes up to a beach to have some fun and what do they get in return? NOTHING BUT DEATH. And worse? They died in such a horrible way - pain.

It really sucks and it's extremely scary to know that this world is becoming so cruel. Aren't we all one big family living on Earth? What is it that cannot be solved by words but have to solved by actions? Sometimes adults just don't act like adults, but more like kids. All this actions that they're displaying right now just shows how immature they are. As adults, shouldn't they be sitting down, sorting things out by talking things out? Why are they settling things by actions? By killing one another's people? Is it really worth so many innocent people's lives for whatever they want? In fact, what do they get in return from all this killings??? NOTHING.

Yes I know this world is bad and cruel and all but I never once expected it to be this cruel. It really gives me creeps to know that all humans are monsters who can and will sacrifice anything just for whatever they want........

Next, MH17.

People have barely got over the missing MH370, and now what's next? MH17 got shot down over Ukraine and there were no survivors. 

Me and my classmates we were just saying in class today., imagine you're on a plane be it going on a holiday or returning home, and you're just napping and the next thing you know is BAM! And even before you open your eyes, the entire plane just exploded, in the air. Yes, you exploded, in the air. And just like that...... It's the end of your book. 

I don't know, but just imagining this makes me..... scared. 

And they also showed me some pictures of the aftermath of MH17 and the victims and really..... I almost cried on the spot. Body parts everywhere, all burnt, smashed, it's just....... unrecognizable. I know everybody have to die one day, and I'm sure everybody want to dye prettily. But all this wars and conflicts are causing such a chaos in this world and their actions are just plain stupid. There's nothing they can gain from doing all this other than taking away more lives. What wrong did all this people do to deserve such an early death? Infants? Kids? Professors trying to cure AIDS? Grandparents? Families returning back to their homeland for real? Don't they even feel bad about what they're doing? If the victims were their relatives would they still go ahead with all the killings? 

Imagine all the excitements they had before boarding the plane........ They just vanished like that. Without any ending. Just BAM! and they're all gone.

Trust. 

Sooner or later, trust will probably not exist in the dictionary anymore.

This world is dying slowly, bit by bit. We ought to be hands in hands, helping and supporting one another to keep this world going and healthily. But look at us now. Global Warming, Wars, Conflicts, Injustice. 

What can we do but to keep them in our prayers.....

All I want right now is a stop to all the killings and world peace.

Mask.

"Be positive." 

"Be happy." 

"Keep smiling." 

"Everything will be fine."

Honestly, I'm kind of tired of being that cheerful girl. 

Because people probably thinks that the only emotion I have is happy, and they do not filter their words and actions before acting it onto me, thinking that, "ah whatever she's cool with it."

Though I may respond with a smile or laughter, but deep inside I probably teared a little. I'm also a human, I also have feelings. I want to show my real emotions but at the same time, having the fear that I may hurt others feeling by doing so. And because of this, I end up swallowing all my real emotions, and replaced it with a smile. All the hidden emotions are just piling in me, increasing my insecurities, and i'm just not me anymore.

I wish people around me would express their feelings to me not only by words but by actions more, because I'm giving up. I can feel myself drifting away from everyone, and nobody is willing to pull me back. So I just allow myself to go and I know I'll regret it eventually. But what's the point if I'm the only one trying to save all the friendships and relationships around me? It'll not go anyway, and at the end of the day, I'll probably be the only crying over it.

I guess I'm just afraid.

Can I let all my emotions out of me now?

阿公

一转眼，八年就这样过去了。。。

我好想念您，阿公。。。。

Red and White

Yay thanks to lovely Joanne, I've got the chance to attend NDP show this year! Met up at City Hall MRT at 3.30pm, before walking around Raffles City, getting our dinner (Subway) and used the toilet before making our way to the floating platform!




(Trying to step some artistic photographer using my lousy phone camera HAHAHAHAHA)

After adventuring around with our ndp fun pack, when I saw the tattoos, I immediately slapped Joanne on the thigh and went, "OMG JO WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO THIS.", with the tattoos on my other hand. Because honestly, if you don't use it on that day itself at that venue, YOU WILL MOST PROBABLY NEVER TOUCH THAT THING EVER AGAIN. I mean tell me, who the hell puts Singapore Flag tattoos on them on a random day?????

And so.........

TADAH!!!!!
 

The motivators were distributing balloons to the kids and I guess maybe because I kept staring at her so she asked me if I want one too. HAHAHAHAHA everybody loves balloon animal structures!

 
Having our dinner before the parade starts.

  

  

In the midst of the selfie and all, I turned and saw this photographer taking pictures of us so I nudged Jo and we both smiled for the camera and suddenly BOOMZ, 6 other photographers appeared from idk where and they were all just like, "Look here!" "Okay good, smile!" We were so shocked honestly. But it kind of felt good? Idk I felt like I was some celebrity HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! But quite stress also, because even when we were eating, the camera was on us and we were not sure if we should smile for it or pretend we didn't see it. HAHAHAHAHA!

       

 

 

 

 

Watching the parade actually makes me miss NPCC like really really A LOT. I'm so thankful that Jo actually knows like some of the beat because she has encounter them before because I was like saying the commands when the commander was executing it hahahahaha. Sorry once a npcc cadet, always a npcc cadet.

Halfway through the parade, it started drizzling. Jo told me to wear the poncho but I didn't because I hate the feeling of ponchos! So yucky and sticky. People were starting to leave but we didn't! BECAUSE HOW CAN YOU LEAVE WITHOUT SEEING THE AWESOME AND PRETTY FIREWORKS?!!!!!

Honestly, a reason why I really enjoy attending NDPs is because that is probably the only time you see Singaporeans united, and the only the time they show that they are proud to be a Singaporean. And why do I say that? You see everybody standing up singing the National Anthem, saying the Pledge together as one, I just find the sight really amazing and sweet.

And I find that this year's NDP is actually more fun because there isn't any NDP Song this year but there were remix of old NDP songs and I LOVE IT because I know the lyrics and can sing along with it. (:

Last but not least, the FIREWORKS. Forever and always my favourite.

 

I think this is the first year they actually have the water fountain thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
After the show ended, because the lighting was really good and we were waiting for the crowd to disperse first so of course.......... SELFIE LA. Hehe

We were actually trying to show off our face tattoos. HAHA

Jo cannot do the pedo face HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

 

 

Went home with all the tattoos on my face and woah, people were looking at me like I'm some alien. mehhhhhh that sucks. But nevertheless, I still had funnnn!!! Of course, many selfies before washing away the tattoos hahahhaaha typical girl here.