I've talked to Navinn again. I realised, every time I have a heart to heart talk with him, I always end up deep in thoughts and it just kept me reflecting on my actions. He is the one who really understands me deep inside. He knows I may seem to be smiling and happy, but deep inside, I'm just a fragile me.
I thought I was over. I thought he will never ever affect me anymore. I was wrong. My heart still skip a beat whenever I see him. I still steal glances at him. I still hold onto hopes that one day he will come back to my side and tell me that he loves me. But will he?
Vin said I dont share whatever I feel and that my heart is super heavy with pain. I'm just wearing a mask with a smile, but crying within yourself. I'm just afraid of getting rejected.
Am I that weak? I have never in my life felt so upset and terrible over a guy. Is this the power of love? I hate it when I get all confused and f-up because of this. Vin is gonna talk to me about it tomorrow. He's like my brother. Without their support, I guess I'm just me, under my blanket, crying everything out, bottling everything to myself.
I got to be strong. I need power. I need energy. I need motivation. Haiz. Got to put on a smile and be alright tomorrow! JIAYOU!
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