Those days...

I should totally be sleeping now, but I can't fall asleep. 

So many things are running in my mind now that I just feel like getting drunk now. 

But I won't, because I know no matter how drunk I may be after I'm awake, the problem will still be there. I wished I was still a young kiddo, where everything was so simple. Fun, fun, fun. Now, everything is so complicated. The things that I want are also... impossible?

Sometimes I just wonder, why am I born this way? I know everyone is unique in different ways but I really wanna know why. But also at the same time, I know this question has no answer to it. It is totally up to me to see it in a positive or negative way. It really sucks to have so many problems. When I went for my eye check up and the doc inform you that your degree have increased. You know how it feels? Suckish. I felt disappointed in myself, yet I know I deserve it. If I haven't been texting under my blanket in the dark, or maybe idk.... And when I'm given the choice whether I want to do the operation or now, I totally blank out. 1 part of me says, "Go ahead. After this operation, you'll be free from this shit." Yet, another part of me says, "Hell NO! Imagine the knife cutting your skin!? You are fine this way." 

And that's when I wished I didn't have all this shit problems... I hate it when I have no idea on what to do. Haiz, forget it....