Alone.

Something that no one will ever say/do for me.

I love having time alone, but I also hate being alone.

Reasons why I love spending time alone:
1) I reflect on my actions.
2) I can be myself, not care my image. (Eh I do care about my image one ok. Which girl doesn't want to be pretty uh. TELL ME.)
3) I can just zone out.
4) I can listen to music and not talk.
5) I can just let my emotions out.

Reasons why I hate spending time alone:
1) I'm afraid.
2) I overthink.
3) And when I overthink, I become sad, I become even more demoralised...


One of the problem I hate having is.... BOY PROBLEM.

Every single time, when I start developing feelings for him at the initial stage, he'll do so much things and convince me that, "oh, maybe he feels the same as me." So I open up and let him into my heart, my mind, and then boomz! He'll just ignore me. FOR NO REASON. Always like that....

And every time when I say that I'll forget him, I'll move on. He have to do something to persuade me that, "oh no, he has feelings for me." And every time, I'll give him chance and chance to let him enter my heart, my mind. And when I ask myself...



I do not have the answer.



Many people tell me that I have the looks, the character, the body, I don't have to worry that I won't find a guy and get married.

But I don't want to get any guy. I want to get a guy who don't care if I'm tall, if I'm short, if I'm pretty, if I'm ugly, if I'm skinny, if I'm fat, if I'm rich, if I'm poor. But at the same time, I also know that... SUCH GUY DOESN'T EXIST.

Maybe it do. Only in my dreamland.

I meet so many people everyday, and have you ever wonder if you actually met your Mr/Mrs Right??

Because I do.



This time, I'm really letting go of all those special feelings.
Goodbye my crush, hello my friend.