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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Mask.

"Be positive." 

"Be happy." 

"Keep smiling." 

"Everything will be fine."

Honestly, I'm kind of tired of being that cheerful girl. 

Untitled

Because people probably thinks that the only emotion I have is happy, and they do not filter their words and actions before acting it onto me, thinking that, "ah whatever she's cool with it."

Though I may respond with a smile or laughter, but deep inside I probably teared a little. I'm also a human, I also have feelings. I want to show my real emotions but at the same time, having the fear that I may hurt others feeling by doing so. And because of this, I end up swallowing all my real emotions, and replaced it with a smile. All the hidden emotions are just piling in me, increasing my insecurities, and i'm just not me anymore.

.

I wish people around me would express their feelings to me not only by words but by actions more, because I'm giving up. I can feel myself drifting away from everyone, and nobody is willing to pull me back. So I just allow myself to go and I know I'll regret it eventually. But what's the point if I'm the only one trying to save all the friendships and relationships around me? It'll not go anyway, and at the end of the day, I'll probably be the only crying over it.

tired...

...

I guess I'm just afraid.

.

Can I let all my emotions out of me now?

give up


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