stress

Who can I be honest with...... 

I really am so tired. Physically and mentally. 

Screwed up body clock, thinking of how to hit my target, managing relationships, handling my finances, basically everything. 

I really really want a break. Like go on a vacation and just enjoy life. But how can I do so without money, without plans, without motivation...... 

Starting to feel that I'm nothing but failure. 

how can people like me when I hate myself......

plus one

On cloud nine.


I've enjoyed your company tonight.


You are all that I want.


Your hugs, 

your kisses, 

your hand that hold onto mine, 

your shoulder to lean on when I'm tired,

EVERYTHING.


I'm in love with love.

notes

Notes is my current favourite place to go to whenever I feel negative.


It reminds me of the good old days.


So glad I saved those messages back then. :')



"Darling"


"I really really love you alot"


"I just want to tell you how lucky I am to have you"


"I can't express how much I love you"


"My love for you have never faded from the start"


"I will only love you more and more, not any lesser"


"Thank you for being my pillar of strength"


"Thank you for tolerating all my nonsense"


"I will treat you like the way you're supposed to be treated"


"I don't want you to be sad"


"I just want you to be happy for the rest of your life"


"I promise to change"


"Please don't give up"


"I'm sorry"




So precious to me. :')

devastated

It hurts to know that in your eyes, that is how you see me.


U n g r a t e f u l    b i t c h


A long and miserable ride home.

I chose the loser corner.

I hid my face.

I was at my lowest.

I couldn't stop my tears.

All I wanted was love.

Simple, traditional, classic love.

But modern love is taking over.

All that matters was if I deserved it.

No hugs, no kisses, no promises.

It was just me, and my sorrow.

I questioned myself.

I tried to shut myself out.

I hated myself.

I hated the world.

I hated for existing.

I never do things right.

I'm no perfect.

Never right.

I had to.

I was so close to jumping off the cliff.

A force pulled me back.

One last try.

One last chance.

One last hope.

One last go.

Everything resumed.

But something was different.

Me.

I accepted.

I've learnt.

I want to be the happiest.

I want to be happy.

I want to love myself.

And the only solution,

Was ME.










Thank you for being here for me,

nobody.

Review - [Fish & Chicks]

As we all know, the trend these days is SALTED EGG.

From buns, to prawns, to chicken, to crabs, to croissant, you name it.

For me personally, I like all kinds of Salted Egg Dishes, but I really hate Salted Egg Buns (流沙包). Every time me and John went to Swee Choon, even though he likes them, he will never order them because he can't finish all 3 baos, and he know I would never ever eat it.

One day he casually showed me a post he saw on Facebook, and first of all, the name of the shop attracted me....

FISH & CHICKS



Secondly, Salted Egg Fish & Chips !!!



Thirdly, it is SO AFFORDABLE !!!!




Like omg just the name of the dish makes me hungry.

And so, one day after work we decided to head over to try it out!

Okay, just to let you all know beforehand, BE READY TO WAIT.
Nope, not even kidding. We reached the place at around 7.15pm, and by the time we are finally eating it was around 10.20pm???? YUP, NOT KIDDING.

We joined the queue, and the boss went one by one to the queue, letting us know that the Salted Egg Fish & Chips was already out of stock, and that there was only the Chilli Crab Fish & Chips and the other menu (Chicken, Burgers etc) available. I was quite sian when I heard it... But forget it... After which, he told us that the waiting time to order our food is around an hour, and another hour to get our food. He then asked us if we want to order the Chilli Crab Fish & Chips because there's limited quantity for it. We decided to get one, and he handed us a ticket!

The queue took about an hour and a half???? It was really warm and we can't help but keep complaining hahahaha! He probably suffered quite a bit cause I kept annoying.

When it was finally our turn to order, John tried his luck by asking if they still have Salted Egg Fish & Chips available, and sure enough the boss told us enough to squeeze an order for us! YAY SO HAPPY!

So we ordered a Salted Egg Fish & Chips and a Chilli Crab Fish & Chips. Each of our dish comes along with fries and another side dish of our choice. We went ahead with Mashed Potato and Coleslaw. Waited for another hour and a half, before our buzzer finally rang!!



Jjang jjang!

We both agreed that the Chilli Crab Fish & Chips was better than the Salted Egg Fish & Chips. Maybe one of the reason why we thought so is because the Salted Egg sauce was really little that we could barely enjoy the taste of it. Probably because we took the last bit of sauce.....

But the Chilli Crab Fish & Chips was amazing. Not only the sauce was full of taste, but together with the fish, it just matches so well. We both love it.

The mashed potato and coleslaw was okay, but the fries was really good.

Out of 5 stars, we would rate it 2.5.

We would still go back again, only after the tide fade away and that we don't have to queue that long for it.


Fish & Chicks
Block 531 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10
Singapore 560531
11am - 2pm
5pm - 10pm

Driving License // Duration & Cost

29 February 2016 //

Today is a very meaningful day for me because I got my driving license today.

To be honest, it has been a very very very very tiring journey for me. So I am extremely happy to be able to pass in just one try.


"HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET A DRIVING LICENSE?"

 &

"HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO GET A DRIVING LICENSE?"

This 2 questions were my concerns before I decided to go ahead and get my license.

But for me, I had no one i could go to when I wanted to get my license.
- Mainly because the time when my dad got his license..... beehoon only cost 25 cents.
- My friends were doing private/manual.

So I had to research on my own and I thought it might be good to share my experience with lost souls like me. ^^

Below is the timeline and areas where I paid money for.

Note: I applied for Class 3A license, in another word, AUTO CAR.

****I was actually contemplating between Class 3 license (Manual) and Class 3A license (Auto). But I finally decided on Auto because I strongly believe I'll fail many times if I take manual. LOL. And tbh, most of the cars these days are Auto cars.

I honestly had no idea that there were different driving schools in Singapore.???!!! For all my life (wa sound like I've been living on this earth for like 50+ years like that lol), I thought that there was only one driving school, which is also the one at Ubi. But I was wrong.

So for those people who are like me, here's a list of driving schools that you can sign up with.

1. EAST/NORTH EAST
ComfortDelGro Driving Centre (CDC) @ Ubi
205 Ubi Avenue 4, S(408805)

Recently, CDC introduced a new outlet.
ComfortDelGro Driving Centre (CDC) @ Kovan
This will be a better option for people staying around Kovan, Potong Pasir, Serangoon, Buangkok, Sengkang, Punggol and Fernvale area, and it is all located near MRT/LRT stations.

2. NORTH
Singapore Safety Driving Centre (SSDC) @ Woodlands
2 Woodlands Industrial Park E4, S(757387)

Singapore Safety Driving Centre (SSDC) @ AMK
Blk 635 AMK Street 61 #01-5113, S(560635)

3. WEST
Bukit Batok Driving Centre
815 Bukit Batok West Ave 5, S(659085)


So for me because I stay in the east, I enrolled into CDC @ Ubi.

This is the guide which the staff will let you know upon enrollment.



March 2015:
Enrolled into CDC @ Ubi. 
Enrollment Fee (1 year): $165.85
*Renewal will be at $53.50 for another 6 months.
For my case, I finished it within 1 year. THANK GOODNESS.

So after paying this sum of money, I was given 2 books, which is Highway Code Book 1 and 2.
You will need to study Book 1 for BTT, and Book 2 for FTT.

I am not sure if I paid additional for this 2 books or it came together with enrollment.



June 2015:
Went for BTT, and PASSED.
BTT: $6.50
*You will need to score at least 45 out of 50 to pass.
Which means you can only afford to get wrong 5 questions only.

September 2015:
Went for FTT, and PASSED.
FTT: $6.50
*Same as BTT, you will need to score at least 45 out of 50 to pass.

Okay here's the thing... The moment you pass your BTT, you can actually apply for Provisional Driving License (PDL), and start your practical lessons already. As long as you pass your FTT before your practical test, it's okay.

But for me, I finished my theory tests before starting my practical. (Actually reason was I was just too lazy hahahaha)

So right after I passed FTT, I went ahead to apply for PDL.
PDL: $25
*It is valid for only 6 months, so you have to renew it every 6 months.

November 2015 - February 2016:
Every practical lessons is 100 minutes. (I know, like why 100 minutes? I wonder why too.)



Costs for lessons are as follow:

WEEKDAYS
Session 1 - 4: $68.48
Session 5 - 7: $77.04

WEEKENDS
Session 1 - 5: $77.04

Below is the number of practical classes I had from the start, to the end.

November: 3 lessons.
December: 1 lesson.
January: 15 lessons.
February: 9 lessons.

If you're on budget, just like me, then this would be my advise to you.

First of all, try to take sessions 1 to 4 on weekdays, instead of session 5 to 7 and on weekends. This can help you save some bucks.

Secondly, you will be offered if you want to have a fixed instructor, or a smaller group of instructors to take you for practical, when you first enrolled. This will require more money. For fixed instructor, you will need to pay additional $10.70 PER SESSION. And to be honest, I'm so glad I didn't opt for that because for all my 28 lessons, I had a total of only 10 instructors.

It is very important for you to bring along this booklet and your PDL every lesson, otherwise the instructor will not let you drive. (Especially the PDL)

Practical Lessons: ($68.48 x 25) + ($77.04 x 3) = $1943.12

One very important to note for practical lessons is the dates they open up bookings for classes. They open the booking for 2 months later, for example on 18 November, 10pm, they open up booking for the month of January. So you must must must remember the dates to book the dates and timings of your choice! Otherwise you only have to go back to the site and wait till someone cancels their booking.

And I would recommend you to top up your account with sufficient funds! For my case I didn't bear to top up one shot $1000. I top up few hundreds every time. This can be quite troublesome when booking classes because if your account does not does not have sufficient sum of money, you can't book any classes. And if you top up online, there will be additional 90 cents charge per transaction.

*The One Team was what I mentioned earlier about smaller group of instructor/fixed instructors.

For me, if you can see the dates in the image I uploaded, you'll tell that I actually chiong alot, especially for January.

Definition of chiong here would be: Go for back to back classes (my record was 3), one week go 3 - 4 times.

Honestly, chionging was really super tiring!!!!
Back to back lessons = Sore butt

There are pros and cons of having back to back classes.

Pros: You can learn more things in a day. And if the instructor is the same, he can play around with the time and not limit to just a particular subject. (I would recommend more back to back classes after you're done with learning parking. So more of like during revision period.) 
You go all the way to Ubi for 2 lessons is better than just 1 right? :P

Cons: Your butt will hurt a lot and your legs may cramp too hahahahaha. 


The reasons why I chiong was....
1) I didn't want to renew my enrollment (which was going to expire in March 2016) + PDL (which was going to expire in April 2016)
2) I just want to get over and be done with it.

But it was fucking tired because I was having my intern at the same time.

My schedule would be something like....

8.30am - 10.10am: Practical Class
10.10am - 11.30am: Home
11.30am - 1pm: Travel to work
1pm - 10pm: Work

Or if I had back to back classes.....

8.30am - 12pm: Practical Classes
12pm - 1pm: Travel to work
1pm - 10pm: Work

Or

8.30am - 5.30pm: Work
6.50pm - 10.20pm: Practical Classes

I could do this back to back every day for a week or so.

I was honestly very very very tired. But I had no choice. I regretted not finishing practical lessons before intern started, when I was still in school. But since I did not want to waste any more time and money I endured and pulled through it.

29 February 2016: Traffic Police Test
Practical Exam + Warm Up: $231.44

I was actually really very very very very worried. Like i kept thinking what if I mount kerb, what if i kena some sibei strict instructor and all. But I was so thankful everything went very smoothly~~~

After you pass, you'll need to apply for your license.
License (For a lifetime): $50

You'll need to submit a passport photo of yourself, and you may do so at the center itself at the charge of $7, if you haven't done so. (OPTIONAL COST)

So in total, I spent a total of 1 year including theory to get my license.

If excluding theory, it would be 4 months!

And I spent a total of

Enrollment Fee (1 year): $165.85
BTT: $6.50
FTT: $6.50
PDL: $25
Practical Lessons: ($68.48 x 25) + ($77.04 x 3) = $1943.12
Practical Exam + Warm Up: $231.44
License (For a lifetime): $50

TOTAL = $2428.41

(And I am so proud to say that I paid it fully by myself.)


Some tips for first day of practical class:
- Wear something comfortable
- Eat before class
- Wear comfortable shoes!********
This is very very very very important!!!!!!!

For the first few lessons, I wore slippers for class. People who knows me well enough should know that I'm an absolute slipper lover. I can go ANYWHERE with my slippers. Yup, so I wore slippers for the first few lessons, only until one of the instructor told me that I should wear shoes for my next lesson otherwise some instructors will not allow me to go for lesson.

I would not recommend you to wear sport shoes, but something softer. In my case, I wore Rubi Jenna Slip On.


Why is it better than sport shoes???? Reason being the material is softer (cloth), thus you're able to feel and control the brakes easier. So there was once when I wore sport shoes because I was planning to go work earlier to work out. So being lazy, I decided to just wear sport shoes and not my usual slip on. And I totally regretted it. In fact the instructor, who took me a couple of lessons before, could also tell the difference in my driving. So the moment you decided on a comfortable pair of shoes, don't change! Especially on the day of your TP!


Cheers!

Bye 2015, Hi 2016

And just like that 365 days have went by..... 2015 has been a pretty fruitful year to me and I sure am glad for everything that have happened, be it good or bad. I may have gained a boyfriend, but I sure have lose some friends, along the way as well. Well I shouldn't say lose, but more of like.... drifted away????

But nevertheless, I'm still thankful that I still have friends that I don't have to contact every single day, but will still be there for me no matter what.

A new year means a year older. Haiz, entering the 20+ clan in 6 months time...... So not excited. Actually kidding about not excited.... I actually have many things that I look forward to this year!

- Get my driving licence (hopefully before CNY)
- Valentines Day (My first valentines that I'm not single lol)
- End of internship
- Graduation
- Travel before I officially start my bond

I only hope that in 2016, I'll be more positive and things will go more smoothly and my way.

111115

Can't help but starts to compare...

And when I start to compare, it unknowingly make me start to think more, which eventually lead to overthinking, which leads to me always being sad, over anything and everything.

I wish I could be more positive, but reality is always proving me right.

I feel so suffocated by work, r/s, family, friends, everything......

I wish people could understand me more, but at the same time, why would people understand me if I don't ever speak up.

I guess my assumption that people could read my mind just by my texts, actions and expressions, is the reason for everything. Because I assume everything.

Expectations really bring me down.

小幸運

我聽見雨滴 落在青青草地

我聽見遠方 下課鐘聲響起

可是我沒有聽見你的聲音 認真呼喚我姓名

愛上你的時候 還不懂感情

離別了 才覺得刻骨銘心

為什麼沒有發現 遇見了你 是生命最好的事情

也許當時

忙著微笑和哭泣 忙著追逐天空中的流星

人理所當然的忘記

是誰風裡 雨裡 一直默默守護在原地

原來你是 我最想留住的幸運

原來我們 和愛情曾經靠得那麼近

那為我對抗世界的決定 那陪我淋的雨

一幕幕都是你 一塵不染的真心

與你相遇 好幸運

可我已失去 為你淚流滿面的權利

但願在我看不到的天際 你張開了雙翼

遇見你的注定 她會有多幸運

擁有著後知後覺的美麗

來不及感謝 是你給我勇氣 讓我能做回我自己

Review: [Highest Hair & Beauty Salon]

After our steamboat session, we went to somerset and walked around and you know like how things are just the same and there were nothing new to walk in to. I don't even understand how teens can go scape/cineleisure every week??????

We walked to Far East Plaza and decide that we want to do hair treatment for our screwed up hair. We literally walked the entire plaza and there were so many salons!!! Really like almost half of the plaza are filled with salons.

Then I remember that the last time I came to Far East Plaza, I was with Janice and we both dyed our hair, but before we dyed out hair, Janice went to bleach her hair at this salon. I had a good impression of the salon because the boss, a lady, was very friendly and made conversations with us. She assured Janice like her products are good and like it's cheaper than any other places. So I suggested to Joanne and we decided to go over and ask about the treatments they provide.

So initially they told us that we should do the CPR treatment, which costs $120, as it'll help to tame our frizzy hair and make our hair healthier. So like after much thoughts, I mean like it's $120 yo, we decided to do it. And the moment we sat on the chair, the boss came up to me and told me that I should do the Sheseido treatment instead as it is more lasting, like lifetime, while the CPR one after a few washes it'll be back to my normal hair. And she told me it'll cost $220. And honestly I really hesitated damn long because it's fucking $220, it's not small sum of money for someone like me. After much thoughts, okay I decided to do the Sheseido treatment. And for Joanne, instead of doing the CPR treatment she did a scalp care treatment instead as her hair stylist told her that her problem was more on the scalp instead.

So I trusted my hair stylist, Rose, with my fucking hair, and my $220. 

I sat patiently where she attended to my hair. First she applied some cream on my head then left the cream for around 10 minutes before washing it away. After which she helped me to trim some of hair. After cutting my hair, she proceed on to straightening my hair and I did not think so much as I thought it was probably a routine for them to straighten their customer's hair after a cut. I mean I do get that service quite often when I cut my hair. Like the last time I went to dye my hair, the lady helped me to straighten my hair as well. In fact I thought it was reaching the end of the treatment. So I didn't think so much nor asked her any question.

After straightening my hair, she asked me in chinese, (fyi: she's a chinese citizen aka china foreign talent) if i wanted to do the CPR or Sheseido, and I remembered the boss recommending me to do the Sheseido at the start, so I replied her "Sheseido". Then she went on and applied another cream onto my hair and left it on for around 10 minutes like that, before washing off the cream. So while washing my hair, she was promoting to me a package of $628 for 5 treatments and 2 additional free, on top of that they will give today's treatment for free. But then because I'm still a full time student, earning my own pocket money from working part time, $628 is really like a bomb to me. She kept promoting and trying to persuade me to get it. Then when I went out, Jo told me she bought the package and can pay half of it first today, next session then pay another half. I was abit like thinking maybe I should get it cause it's like $628 for 8 sessions?! Like quite worth right??????

So Rose sprayed some thing on my head and put the steamer thing over my head, I was just discussing with Jo if I should get it. After that I decided to get it and I told Rose ah. Then when she brought me in to wash my hair again, I just wanted to double confirm with her that I can pay half which is $314 today. But she replied to me in chinese that on top of half of the package $314, I had to pay for the Sheishedo rebonding which is $220. So I asked her huh I thought you tell me if I sign the package today's treatment waived off? Then she told me yeah they will waive off the Sheishedo treatment which is $120, so I have to pay half the package $314 AND the Sheishedo Rebonding $220, which is $534, if pay total package at one go, it'll be $848, which is like close to $1000?!!!!

That moment my mind literally went blank. I was so shocked. I had no fucking idea that I did a fucking rebond. So I told her huh I thought I am only doing the Sheseido treatment? Your boss told me it was $220. Then she went to ask her boss and the boss merely said, "Oh must be miscommunication between you and her (Rose)."

First of all, the boss only told me it was a Sheseido treatment, not a Sheishedo Rebond. Like wtf I went there only with the thought of doing a treatment, not to do a fucking rebond.

Secondly, Rose did not even bother to reconfirm with me. She never told me like what she was doing with my hair at all. At least for Jo, her hair stylist will keep telling her what step she was doing and all.

Thirdly, neither Rose nor the boss apologised to me, or even offer any kind of help to me. All Rose did was still trying to persuade me to get the package, cause the moment i found out that I actually did a fucking rebond and a treatment which will cost me $340, I told her I did not want the package already. Really, all she did was like trying to tell me how my hair will be better if I did more treatments and that the package very worth and all. SHE STILL WANTED TO PERSUADE ME TO GET THE PACKAGE. But trust me, I was so angry none of her words actually went in. The boss also did NOTHING! After saying that it was miscommunication between me and Rose, she just went to the cashier and sat there. She just told, "Oh then never mind ah, you don't get the package then just pay for today's treatments ah."

I was so fucking angry that I literally black face all the way. Rose offered me a name card but I did not even want to take it because I was that mad.

The service was terrible and after that I read online that there were actually bad reviews about Rose and the boss as well. So for now, I can't tell you if the treatment really worked out, but it better do, and better last lifetime, otherwise I'll be really pissed and just argh, cursing at them.

I really would tell you to think twice about going to this salon. I think the prices are considered cheap, but just be careful and ALWAYS DOUBLE CONFIRM EVERYTHING, EVERY STEPS.

I don't want another victim like me. ;'(

If I knew I was going to spend $340 at a shop like that, I would rather go to a more known salon than this fucked up salon......



Highest Hair & Beauty Salon
14 Scotts Road Far East Plaza
#03-18 Singapore 228213


I'll be back with another post to review on my hair!

Review - [House of Steamboat]

Finally going for a proper date with my favourite Jo after so long???????

So I came across this article on FB quite some time back and always wanted to go try out the House of Steamboat (especially their mala soup)! I could not bring John there to try it out because he HATES mala, actually he just does not dare to try it. [emoji]

And I finally came here with Jo!

Well okay i would say that it was okay only???? We walked quite a bit before managing to find the place, but then again that whole street had many steamboat and bbq restaurants so we were like busy looking at the signboards to see if we missed it. But end up it was at another street instead LOL.

Okay so like when we reached the place, we were quite shocked????? Because like the shop was empty and only had a staff sitting at the window table and chopping chili, and we were both kind of shocked????? Jo literally gave me the "Are you sure this is the place?" face hahahahaha. So anyway, that staff came out and invited us in and honestly the moment you stepped into the shop, a weird smell hit us right in the face and we were abit like ermmm..... But then I thought maybe it's because there were no customers, no steamboats/bbq going on, thus there wasn't any nice yummy smell.

We were told to choose 2 soups from 6 different kind of soups,
- Chicken Herbal Soup
- Fish Bone Herbal Soup
- MaLa Spicy Soup
- Tom Yam Soup
- Hot & Spicy Soup
- Pork Belly Soup

And we decided on Chicken Herbal Soup and Tom Yam Soup. Initially we wanted to try out their Mala, but then because Jo had a sore throat and didn't dare to take the risk thus giving up on our Mala. After which, we were asked what kind of meats (Chicken, Pork, Beef, Mutton), seafoods (Crab, Prawn, Dory Fish, Sea Cucumber etc)  and those body parts like liver, intestines etc, we wanted. And we ordered chicken, pork, crab, prawn, dory fish, and sea cucumber. So basically these were the foods that they will take from the kitchen and serve it to us instead of us taking it on our own. Well we thought it was better if like we were able to take on our own like the meats, seafood all those instead of like them serving us.

There were also other food like hot dogs, luncheon meat, crab meat, seaweed, fish ball with meat inside (my loveeeee), variety of vegetables and noodles that we were allowed to actually take on our own.

They do have drinks as well! You can choose to buy canned drinks from them at a top up at $1.50, or if you just want to make full use of the buffet price, they sure do also provide free flow of drinks (Orange juice, Lemon Tea).

Overall, we both agreed that the meat, seafood all those weren't really good. But the fish was not bad, only if your soup has a strong taste like for us tomyam. (P.s: The chicken herbal soup wasn't really that good. You can't taste anything. But the tomyam was not bad!!) We had more of the other ingredients instead of the meat hahaha!

When we were done with our food and asked for our bill, we were quite surprised when they told us $30. Well that was because they have a lunch deal of $15 NETT, 1 - 4pm.

And it's amazing how they don't charge GST and Service Charge, and what's better is the price of an adult is $17.90 nett anytime from Monday to Sunday, 12pm-12am!!!!

It's pretty worth our $15 overall. ;)

House of Steamboat
7 Tan Quee Lan Street Singapore 188096

Review - [Kokomama]

So it has been the in thing these days, and just nice there was a promotion circulating on facebook quite abit these days, me and John decided to try out after my work on Sunday.

~~~~~ BINGSU

Patbingsu (팥빙수, also stylized as patbingsoo, literally red beans with ice) is a Korean shaved ice dessert with sweet toppings such as chopped fruit, condensed milk, fruit syrup, and Adzuki beans.^[1] The snack is highly popular in Korea.

This snack originally began as ice shavings with red bean paste (known as pat, 팥). It was traded among government officials. Many varieties of patbingsu exists in contemporary culture.

In case you all haven't seen the promotion, let me just share it here.


So basically for the price of $8.90, you get to choose any 1 of these flavours:

- Mango Madness
- Snappy Strawberry
- Milky Oreo
- Matcha Craze
- Red Ruby

And all you need to do is to present your Student Pass at the counter!

So me and John decided to share one since we were still going for dinner after that. And initially we were contemplating between the Mango Madness and the Milky Oreo. And in the end, we decided on Milky Oreo.

Frankly speaking, it was a bit of a disappointment because we thought that there was nothing really unique about it and that there were too many oreos in it and the shaved ice melt way too fast!!! The only unique taste is the shaved ice melting in your mouth. The only ingredients we had in our Milky Oreo Bingsu was the milky shaved ice, oreos, chocolate waffle sticks, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a few pieces of muah chee like thingy.

We had pretty high expectations for it probably because of what we saw on our social media platforms, but then again we thought WE GET WHAT WE PAY.

Honestly I would still go back down to try the Mango Craze for the price of $8.90. I'm definitely not willing to pay more than $10 on something like ice kachang which I can get it at less than $2 anywhere??????

At Kokomama, I realised that it is quite a study friendly cafe because first of the all, they don't only have Bingsu, but they also sells juices, cakes and other food. Secondly, they have power sockets! (YAY to especially RP students because we CANNOT study without our laptop) However, I'm not very sure if they have free wifi, but when I attempted, they'll prompt you to ask the owner of Kokomama for the password, so I guess there's a 80% chance that there's free wifi! :)

So if you're wondering where it's located at, it's located at the School of The Arts (SOTA), the row along I'm Kim's BBQ.


P.s: The $8.90 promotion ends on 31 August! So be quick! ;)

To my drifted friends

To my drifted friends,

Even though we have drifted, and we cannot deny it, I would still like you to know that I still treat you as my friend. I'll still be there for you when you need me. I'm always ready for a conversation, always ready for a date, always ready to go back to how we used to be. I honestly do not want our friendship to come to an end, because I really appreciate and want you in my life. But if you feel that I'm no longer worthy to be in your life, I will also not force you to have me in your life.


I'm still the same old me, nothing have changed.

Before and After.

My life after getting into a relationship....

It seems that most people have thoughts like,
"Oh you must be happier right now.", "Your life is officially completed.", "You're so lucky to have everything in your life."

My thoughts on my friends that have a relationship (before I myself got into a relationship) was, "How lucky they must be. They have a family, they have their friends, now they have a boyfriend / girlfriend as well!"

But after getting into a relationship, after having to experience things myself, that's when I realised, getting into a relationship with someone is really isn't that simple. It isn't just about wanting to spend the rest of your life with that one person, it's isn't just about going on dates, it isn't just about enjoying each other's company and all. It was more than that.



Yes you have one addition onto your Important / Favourite list, but with that addition it also means that you have one more person to balance in your life. In my case, in the past I had to balance only my family, my friends, studies and work. But now, I had to balance my family, my friends, studies, work, and him. And to be honest, I was really confident of being able to balance all of it well. I had plans, I made plans even before getting into a relationship.

The first month went well. But slowly, things started to change. Probably because it was the start of our relationship, which was also the crucial part of a relationship, I spent more time with him. And because of this, I also got drifted away from some of my friends. To be honest, I would not say I've put in 100% effort in trying to save my friendship. However, I would dare to say I've tried. But human-to-human relationship can never go just one-way.

There were a few events when my friends jio-ed me out, but because I've made plans with him beforehand, I had to reject them. I don't know if it's pure coincidence, but the few times they asked me out, I've already had plans. So some of my friends would automatically leave me out for events because they would assume I would no doubt choose him over anything. At some point of time, whenever I had problems or when I was upset with him and I really wanted to rant it to someone, I suddenly had no idea who I can approach. I looked through my contact list and I just didn't know who to talk to.



I was lucky enough to still have friends who would ask me how's my life going on and all. They gave me advice and made me start making sense of my life.

One particular friend of mine, probably the last person I would even expect to be having such a conversation with, once told me,

"At some point in your life, you would realise no matter how much you try to explain, how much you try to save yourself, they will still be saying the same old things, in fact they would just say you are just being a hypocrite. If they are your true friends, they will be happy for you. They may not like your boyfriend, but because you love him, they will still be happy for you. You don't even have to explain to your true friends, because they know you well enough."

p.s: I realised those people who can understand are only those we've been through it.



I know some of my friends are not happy with me because I no longer spend as much time as I used to spend with them. And I know they also have to rant it out. But sometimes I wish they would tell me instead of being mad at me behind my back and ranting it to others.

The hardest part is probably having to smile and laugh and act like you do not know about it in front of them.



In this kind of situation, nobody is in the wrong, maybe it's my fault because I assumed that my friends would understand that I would have lesser time to spent with them. Maybe I just didn't do a good job in balancing everything.



And to be honest,


I really do.

Being someone who is extremely sensitive about feelings, I can tell about one's mood really quick. There are times when I really want to be like how we used to be, so I decided to be the one who will make the first move. But sometimes their response to you can be really disappointing. Eventually, from casual talks, it became formal talks and right now I guess the only time she'll ever talk to me is when she needs my help.

There's nothing I can do to change the situation because......
We no longer understand one another anymore.

I still do hope we can be as close as we used to be.

As much as I'm enjoying attached life, I still hate the fact that there are things that you've to sacrifice, and there are still so much more to learn and adapt to.


To John, to my family, and to my drifted / current friends, 

4F 2012

Came across Vin's already-died blog, and while reading through it, it really brings back so many memories from 3 years ago. Truth to be told, I do miss them - Vin, Pris, Cole, Xut, Justin, KM, Berwyn, Shermaine. I miss hanging out with them after school, I miss doing stupid things with them in class, I miss going for class late with them, I miss gossiping with them, everything. Now, how often do we meet?

Vin, he used to promise me that he'll be there for me no matter what, but now he literally MIA-ed on me since like last year?????? It's sad how this friendship is dying just like that. What can I do to go back to the days where life was simple, yet happy and carefree.

Things have changed.

Back to this place after a crazy half a year.


Well so many things have happened/changed, and some of the major things are like....
- I'm finally a Year 3 student, aka LAST YEAR OF POLY.
- I moved from Cotton On to Llao Llao.
- I got attached.
- Finally 19!

Funny how things are just different from what I would imagine exactly a year ago. Who knew I would really quit Cotton On and join a whole new industry. Life was tough initially. Learning how to twirl a nice yogurt, trust me, it's so not easy. And approaching my final year in Poly, things are more or less like still the same, in fact, I'm getting lazier. But thanks to John, who's constantly pulling me back to track, I'm still surviving. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned about the new system in RP, but it really sucks so badly. Not like they removed RJ, Quiz and Evaluation, but they shorted our usual 15 weeks of lessons to 13 weeks, which also caused us to have only 2 unofficial absence instead of 3. And instead of having our usual 3 UTs, we now only have MSA and ESE. Why do I feel like I'm back in Primary School, with our CAs and SAs. LOL.

Getting attached to John was something I've never ever imagined. Like really NEVER EVER. It just happened. I would say this is my first real relationship, and not any of the previous puppy love relationship, it has taught me so much, and definitely brought me happiness, anger, sadness. We may look sweet and all, but there are times where we're so close to quarreling, until either one of us will just give way and back to the happy moments. I'm still enjoying this attached life, and sure do wish that he's the one.

Finally 19 - 1 more year till I'm no longer a teen, and entering the next phrase of my life.
After getting attached, some of my friends naturally stopped talking/talk lesser to me and when I decide to take the first move, the only thing they said was, "Oh, I thought you will be with John." Honestly, I fucking hate it. Yes, not slightly kidding. I may laugh it off but trust me, I am cursing you deep in my heart. Getting attached does not fucking means you get rid of all your other friendships. How do I drill that into your minds?! If you want to assume that I will get rid of my friendships after getting attached then fine, just leave. I do not appreciate people who don't understand/know me. It just proves how much you know me as a 'friend'.

Perspective.

Getting sick of everything.

So inspired by Ms Ally, I think after graduating, after my SME bond, I really want to take a break and travel around the world with just a back-bag. For my entire life, I am given almost everything I want, and the life I have is really a big time as compared to the other kids out there. Living such a good life that I don't even appreciate everything I have in my life. But after what Ms Ally shared, I felt like I need to step out, having been living under my parents' protection for so many years, I don't even see what's happening out there in the other side of the world. I own so many clothes, shoes, bags, food, but does kids over there own it like I do?

Just want to leave Singapore and set my feet on all parts of the world, and actually know what's really happening on Earth, and along the way, help the less fortunate. It's all I want to do right now.

"The world is bigger than what you think it is."

Garden.

A guy own a garden, it was a gorgeous garden with all kinds of greens growing beautifully. The garden was near to perfect, the only thing missing from the garden was colors – Flowers.

After years, after many failed attempts of growing flowers, one day, a rose grew out. The guy was so happy that he showered the rose with love and care. The rose was too very happy to receive such good treatment.

Every single day, through sun and rain, the guy without fail will be there for the rose. At some point in time, she was all that he wanted.

However, one sunny day, a neighbor came along and said to the guy, “Hey, I’ve bought some sunflowers and had some leftovers. Would you like one?” And without any hesitation, the guy gladly accepted a sunflower. The guy started planting the sunflower into a pot, and slowly he paid more attention to the sunflower.

Feeling insecure, the rose decided to ask the guy, “Would you ever get sick of me?” The guy laughed and replied, “Oh silly, how would I ever get sick of something so beautiful?” The rose was satisfied with the answer and trusted that he meant what said.

But trusting him was probably one of the biggest mistakes the rose could ever make.

Slowly, the guy stopped showering love and care for the rose and eventually he had all his attention on the sunflower instead. And the rose, deprived of love and care, eventually died.

Stupidity

I cannot describe the feeling I'm describing right now. I don't even know if I'm angry or I'm sad. 

Words really mean nothing until actions prove it. 

Sorry but I really cannot go on like this, knowing that you lied and I actually believed it?????? Right now, I just want to draw a line between us, in fact I don't even want to have anything to do with you. In fact, I am so regretting everything from the very start. Why did I do so much only to have myself being fooled around lol. Isn't it like digging my own grave, making myself hurt only???? WHY AM I SO DUMB. I should have trusted myself, I should have trusted my instinct. Why did I persuade myself that you're different from everyone else. Just my fault to actually think that there are really nice guys out there. hahahahahaha. Guys are guys, what should I expect from them. 

Forget it. Never ever again am I allowing myself to change my own mindset/impression of another person. 

N  E  V  E  R      E  V  E  R

human x human

Just a minute ago, dajie was telling me this incident and wow, it really made me think how scary your 'friends' can be.........

Yes, they may claim to be your 'friends', they may flirt with you, they may talk to you like you're the only one that they're talking, they may talk to you like they really do like you, but behind the scenes, do we really know if they mean it, or if there's any hidden motive???? It is really so scary having the thought of someone whom you thought is your close friend, someone you can trust, actually aren't who they show you they are. 

Since when did human become so scary, to the point where humans and humans actually do things behind one another's back. Who do we trust after all? Or maybe, the only person we can trust is ourselves. 

I really cannot wait till the day I graduate from poly, the day I saved lots of money and off I go, alone, on a backpack tour. 

I'm starting to lose myself, and I know it.

I no longer know what is it that I really want, I no longer work hard for what I want, I no longer trust in myself, I am no longer that happy as how I used to be. I miss the days when how people look at me did not really affect me. 

I don't want to lose myself. I don't want to see myself changing to someone who others want me to be. 

I have enough of those stupid meaningless thoughts, trying to figure out what others. I want to spend time on myself, to make myself a better person, to live for myself and not for others. 

Because in this world, nobody will love you more than themselves. 

People rather see you hurt, then to see themselves hurt.  

I've learnt my lesson.