Fade to black.

I really regret being so attached to people, because eventually they will slowly fade away from my life. The feeling of wanting to talk to someone that was once so close to you, but knowing that you probably mean nothing to them anymore, what else can you do? 

Humans, are all the same.

I foresee the same ending.

2015.

The sixth day of a brand new year.

Today  (or should I say yesterday???) was also the start of a new school term. And Korea photos have finally been up on Facebook. I'll probably blog about it after UT 2.....

2015 have been good so far, but why do I have such a strong feeling that someone from the past is entering back into my life again??? But I don't know if letting xxx back into my life is a right or wrong choice. I really want to give xxx a third chance but then again if there's a first, there's bound to be a second and third, and fourth and blah blah blah. Letting xxx back into my life will be like giving xxx a chance again to repeat everything all over again. AND THAT'S LIKE COMMITTING SUICIDE?????? Idk idk idk idk.

Really can't wait to get over with Year 2 Sem 2, and then holidays!!!!! YES HOLIDAYS. But it's scaring me a little that time is passing slightly too fast that I am not quick enough to appreciate the events, things, people around me. Is it time for me to slow down my step and slowly give thanks and appreciate the things happening in my life right now and people who have been very supportive of me so far? After Year 2 Sem 2, I'm only left with Year 3 Sem 1 and 6 months intern before I graduate out of RP. I'm like so looking forward to the ending yet dreading how time is passing so quickly. 

Don't ask me what are my 2015 resolutions because no I do not have any. HAHAHAHA yes, not even one like pass my modules, wait actually that can be one, but still no, I do not have any 2015 resolutions. I honestly do not like planning my life out right now at this current age. I don't know if it's because I'm still not feeling the need to be planning out my life because I've been doing well for 18, soon to be 19 years of my life without me doing any plannings beforehand. I still do enjoy the let everything happen naturally and somehow, someone or something will happen along the way. Yeah, that's me. 

But I think the year I turn 20 or 21, I'll probably beg to differ. You'll probably see me planning out my entire next 10 years of my life. HAHAHAHA! I honestly cannot wait till the stage of my life where I have my own family. Yeah, like what beats having a husband who may not be the perfect guy but definitely Mr Right just for you, and by then, probably little monsters who may cause you to gain like 50kg, drive you crazy, but their growth kills all the negative thoughts away. I AM JUST SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT STAGE OF MY LIFE. (I think like 20 years time, I'll read back and curse at myself for writing this. HAHAHAHAHA)

Enough of all the crazy thoughts, I so am going to regret sleeping late tomorrow morning. Like, what's new? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

It's been long.

It's been long.

And soon in a blink of an eye, 2014 is ending soon too. Like usual, every single year there are both good and bad things and I wouldn't say it is a horrible year, neither would I say it's a terrible year. This is life isn't it, we'll never get to experience only the good things, neither will we experience only the bad things.

Have been so busy these days with Fuze events, studies, work and all but I'm so thankful that I've more time these days to relax. The only thing that I'm looking forward this month is probably KOREA TRIP. Just packing my bag for the trip makes me excited!!!! But I'm a little worried that I won't be able to take the cold because this is going to be my first time experiencing staying at somewhere with a negative temperature. Hope I'm able to return safely HAHAHAHA! That Jiawei also keep scaring me telling me to be careful don't fall down because his mum fell and had to do stitches the other time. :O But k la, he meant well shall get him something when I'm there. (YOU BETTER BE THANKFUL HAHAHAHA)

Had the chance to meet up with Jo for dinner earlier this week, and o-m-g so thankful for this dinner because I was starting to feel that we were drifting apart. Sometimes I wonder, is it because I suck at hiding my emotions, or is it because people know me too well to know what's going on in my life. I was really so amazed at how Jo can guess everything right....... And apparently she say it is just me. I suck at hiding my feelings/emotions. K THIS IS BAD.

I hate how sensitive I am, always the first few to sense that something is wrong but then I chose to believe that well, it's just me. And then, well done, I'll just regret soon later and who else can I blame other than myself. I feel so dumb each time something like that happens, but I really tried controlling my feelings but it just don't work every single time. Gonna throw it allllll away hahahaha!

And Jo is never wrong when it comes to this. My personal adviser HAHAHAHA! Thank you Jo, muacksssss!

COUNT DOWN TO KOREA: 6 MORE DAYS.

I don't want to miss a thing.

"I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming,
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this

I just wanna hold you close
I feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For the rest of time, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
and I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss a thing

I just want to be understood.

For once, I was hoping that the answer would be different but I was proved wrong. What even makes me think that you would say yes...... I don't know, probably the thought that maybe you would start seeing me as an adult, that can actually be responsible for my own actions. But no.

Too bad I'm me, and not him, otherwise the answer would be different. No hesitation, a yes right? Don't even have to experiment it, the answer is so clear. I'm a nobody here, the only thing that you're glad that I'm around is probably because I can still make money.....

But so what????